and right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe

yes.
that's true.
we cannot deny how we feel inside.
so.
how do you think you'd feel if everyone hated you?
you freaking bi*ch.
if i had an AK47 you'd be the first to go.
and by the way,
i find you repulsive too.
don't think just because you're popular means everyone loves you.
maybe they should love you until you drown in love
you deserve to drown.
as*hole.

just gonna stand there and watch me burn

they're always bitching about me behind my back.

i'm sick and tired of it.

how would it feel like to them to be bitched about?

i like the way it hurts

whatever.
now that you've done it, i don't want to care anymore.
i'm not stupid.
i know why you were laughing.
stop being such a bi**h ok?
what did i do to you?
not like i ever hurt you.
i hate you.
and i wish i could throw it in your stupid face.
you suck.
if i had a gun i would shoot you dead.

yeah.
i fell into total love with hamsters
and now i can't pull myself out of it.
my family is getting sick of my sweetiepies.
sigh.
my top seven list of I WANTS.
guys, hamsters, everything.

1. PHILIPP LAHM♥♥♥♥♥.
2. NANI♥♥♥♥.
3. those gloriously gorgeous 4-inches from hush puppies♥. even though they'll murder my feet.
4. FLUORESCENT YELLOW AND BRIGHT RED AND BLACK NAIL POLISH. i don't care if it looks weird :D
5. a Nokia touchscreen phone (like dough's or lin dee's. dunno.)
6. a season pass to Old Trafford♥♥♥
7. ROBO♥. CHOCO WINTER WHITE♥. BLACK DOMINANT SPOT♥.

pics of them now.
1.


2.


3.


4.


5.


6.


7.

i just burned down one more bridge connecting me to anyone.

yeah it is.
i hope she hasn't forgotten me.
we used to be super close,
we were almost superglued.
i miss her.
i still remember the secrets i told her and what she told me.
i wonder if she still remembers?

i fool everyone.

yeah i guess i'm like that.
i hide behind all that glossy veneer in class.
smiling. laughing.
but inside, i'm breaking apart into tiny little pieces.
some days i just feel like ending everything.
but then i carry on with life as per normal.
wash my hamsters' houses.
study for common tests
do devotions
but then i just feel so empty and stressed.
sometimes i just don't know what's happening anymore.
like for homework.
i feel like screaming.
i don't know anymore.
they probably hate me deep down in their hearts
but they still say hi and bye to me.
i never fall apart in front of my parents,
so i keep it out in the open
by using my blog.
at least at home and in geebee,
i feel loved and wanted.
i♥you dough and isabel!
i think you're my only true friends.
but then again i'm not sure ):
GOD! save me please.